Blog
On the Chair with Jamie Pleva Nickerson, Commercial Line Account Manager
Tell us a little about you.
Hi! I'm a rough around the edges, cuss words for adjectives, sensitive heart that will do anything I can to help someone. I've been married to my incredible husband for 10 years and am so very lucky to be mommy to our seven year old twin girls. I’m the youngest of 4 girls who took full advantage of being “the baby of the family” and now I work like hell to move past that title. To most people I seem very outgoing and gregarious but to those that know me best I’m actually painfully shy. It’s only once that I feel comfortable does the loud, playful, attention grabbing side pop out. I’m a voracious reader of books and a lover of long bicycle rides. I love to travel and hate to fly! I love deeply and with my whole self and am incredibly protective of the people I love. I dream of writing a book about my sister and I that one day becomes a movie.
Upon diagnosis, what was your first thought?
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer all I could think was, “now is not the time”. My oldest sister was in the hospital dying from the disease and my parents were barely holding on. They were taking turns living in my sister’s hospital room and helping her husband and young son. My next thought was, “how the hell do I tell my parents that I have cancer too?!” Being told I had cancer wasn’t nearly the sucker punch I thought it would be. Having to tell my family that they now had 2 daughters, sisters with the disease was the most horrible and guilt wrenching feeling.
Sometimes it’s hard to “thrive,” we all have days where we are just trying to survive. What is something that gets you through on the hardest days?
Between my survivor's guilt and the fear that my cancer will come back I have days that I slip in a dark, cold hole. These days my pain and even rage have quite literally brought me to my knees and to my bedroom, where I lay in complete darkness and sob. I always allow these moments. I feel as though I need to honor them and allow myself to really feel each tear that rips me open. And no matter how deep I get in that hole there’s always these 2 sets of little hands that reach for me and pull me out. My miracles. My twin baby girls who were born 5 years after my sister's death and my diagnosis. Their brilliant lights and all encompassing love brings me back and fills me with so much joy and happiness. And then there’s him. My husband. The man who walked into my life when I was going through the absolute worst time. He walked in with his eyes wide open and told me he was going to love and support me through it all, forever. These are my people. They are my whys.
Who is another woman you have admired on this journey that has shared a similar experience with breast cancer/cancer (please type what type of cancer you had/have)?
I have always admired how my sister lived with breast cancer. She made sure to never stop living. She didn’t let cancer take anything away, especially without a fight. She left in me awe of how she tried to live a “normal” life, despite living with stage 4 cancer. A life that required weekly chemo treatments, numerous surgeries as well as other procedures. I know she did it for more than herself. She was married with a young son and she never wanted her disease to affect their lives. Everything she did was for them. 3 months after my diagnosis my sister died of breast cancer. I know I never took the time to “deal” with my own cancer diagnosis because of how quickly it all happened. I was diagnosed while she was in the ICU, my mastectomy was while she was in a medically induced coma, I had my egg retrieval surgery hours before her funeral and I started chemo a week later. In those moments I tapped into my sister. She always handled her setbacks with such grit and grace and I was going to do everything I could to do the same. I didn’t want to be the cause of any more pain in my family's life and I wanted to make her proud.
We all need a good support system; who makes up yours?
I’m so lucky to have a large support system. So many feel as though they’re alone in their diagnosis but from the beginning I’ve been surrounded with love and support. My parents and sisters have always been there. From Tracy’s initial diagnosis to my own, we have held and supported one another through all of the tears, the laughter and the anger. The numerous doctors appointments, surgeries and chemo treatments and hospital stays. My sister and I were NEVER alone. I also have a niece and 4 nephews who, at incredibly young ages, knew the intricacies of cancer and always had hugs and love to give. Even giving their own words of support and encouragement. I have a fabulous group of friends as well as my sister's friends who have all showed up for me whenever I’ve needed them. And of course my husband and daughters, who are my foundations. The ones who believe, unwaveringly, that we can get through anything together.
Through your journey, what are some resources you have found that would be helpful to other women?
When I was first told I had the BRCA1 gene mutation I found an organization called Bright Pink. THeir mission is to accelerate the impact of life saving breast and ovarian health interventions. Talking with them helped me confidently decide to have a preventive mastectomy with reconstruction. I refused to “do cancer”. HOwever before my surgery at the pre-surgery tests my doctor found a mass and now my surgery was necessary instead of preventive. However, because of my sister I already knew the exact organization and group of women to lean on. The women of The Young Survival Coalition descended upon me and my family with all the help we could possibly need. The YSC is a premiere non-profit dedicated to educating the medical community and the public that breast cancer can and does happen to young adults. They have been an absolute force in my life who helped me find my voice and showed me how I could take the power back from cancer. I found so much support and strength in them and the other young adults I have met through the organization. Another amazing organization is Pink Cans 4 Cancer found by my friends Tony and Robbie. They are not only environmentally conscious with the recycling of cans and bottles but the money from the recycling is then used to support young women with breast cancer. From arranging rides to chemo treatments, paying for medical expenses or even the cost of funerals But also to help young women realize their dreams. Thanks to them they are supporting me and helped arrange the contacts for me to write a book about my sister and I. I feel so incredibly lucky that I have had such incredible organizations to help and guide me during my diagnosis and beyond.
What is something society gets wrong about young women battling breast cancer and cancer in general?
Unfortunately there are those that are still shocked to find that young women are diagnosed with breast cancer. There are still doctors who will send a young woman home after she points to a lump and tell their doctor it doesn't feel right. This is what happened to my sister. Her doctor dismissed her concerns over a lump and it took another 6 months and pressure from my sister before he would agree to a needle biopsy. Perhaps if her doctor had been better educated on young women with breast cancer, Tracy would have caught her cancer earlier and she would still be here.
You come across another woman who has just received her diagnosis. What is one piece of advice you’d have for them at that moment?
When I speak to young women who are newly diagnosed I always tell them that they must take the time to honor their feelings and emotions. If they want to sit in their sadness and fear for a short time then they need to. TOr if they want to go in “fight mode” have it. But then, no matter their diagnosis, of the stage of their cancer, they must live. They need to get up and go to their doctor's appointments. Do not skip that dinner with friends. GOne on the trip, fall in love, start new career, learn to ride a motorcycle. Just live. Rest and take time when you need to and then get out there and live. And no matter what, you will never be alone.
Because we have to (we love music here) - what’s the last song you listened to?
Ed Sheerhan’s Joker and the Queen. We’re MASSIVE Ed Sheerhan fans. Especially my daughter Tessa.
Photographer @sophieelgort
Creative Director @stacyigel
Chair Creator @thevaleriestarart
Hair & Makeup @thevaleriestar
Location c/o @jimmycrystalny
On the Chair with Denise Albert, Award-Winning Journalist, Television Producer & Co-founder of The Moms and Mamarazzi Celebrity Events
Tell us a little about you.
"DENISE IS A BREAST CANCER SURVIVOR AND ADVOCATE, AS WELL AS AN AWARD-WINNING JOURNALIST, TELEVISION PRODUCER, AND CO-FOUNDER OF THE MOMS AND MAMARAZZI CELEBRITY EVENTS. SHE IS A PROUD DIVORCED MOM OF TWO INCREDIBLE BOYS AND PASSIONATE ABOUT HELPING OTHERS IN THEIR FIGHT AGAINST CANCER AND CURRENTLY LAUNCHING HER NEW VENTURE, MY CANCER FAMILY (MYCANCERFAMILY)."
Upon diagnosis, what was your first thought?
It was terrifying. I couldn’t believe it and I remember thinking that I may not be around to raise my kids. That was truly horrifying. They were only 6 and 9 at the time.
Sometimes it’s hard to “thrive,” we all have days where we are just trying to survive. What is something that gets you through on the hardest days?
I’ve always gotten through hard times by planning things to look forward to. It can be anything from a trip with my kids, a birthday party or celebration for any and all occasions, a date, a drink with a friend, or a girl's getaway!
Who is another woman you have admired on this journey that has shared a similar experience with breast cancer/cancer (please type what type of cancer you had/have)?
There are so many! My friend Gwen was diagnosed a few months after I was and our treatment was the same so we “went through it” together. My friend Ashley was also diagnosed a few months after I was but we had different kinds and very different treatments and I almost feel like it’s a different disease but I admire how she went through it too. There are a lot of women I’ve met through social media I admire all of them for sharing their stories and being open about their own journeys. Sharing helps others in ways you can’t even imagine.
We all need a good support system; who makes up yours?
I have a great family that is led by my mom. She’s my best friend and my biggest supporter. My dad and my sister-in-law are also part of my support system along with many close friends. I have a large family and really incredible friends. My boys are also great support for me now - especially because they’re older (17 and almost 14). We are extremely close and open and honest and talk about everything!
Through your journey, what are some resources you have found that would be helpful to other women?
I really pieced it all together…and found everything overwhelming and really wanted everything in 1 place. Doctors tell you not to google, and I tried to listen but it’s so hard not to. All of my experience led me to where I am today, which is launching a new venture called My Cancer Family. I want to help others diagnosed with Cancer with resources and information and community in one place.
What is something society gets wrong about young women battling breast cancer and cancer in general?
Interesting question. The most important thing is early detection. Every single doctor should make sure women get screened. I think there also should be screenings earlier and also more accessible no matter what your health insurance may be. It’s also important for children of breast cancer patients to start their screening young — even if you don’t have the BRCA gene, family members often should be screened at 25. There’s very little information “out there” about this. My nieces, for instance, along with my boys are supposed to get checked starting at 25. I don’t want to alarm anyone, but if we want to do better, screenings and early detection is EVERYTHING!
You come across another woman who has just received her diagnosis. What is one piece of advice you’d have for them at that moment?
The first thing I always tell every single person who calls or messages me is “this is the hardest time. The unknown. The tests. The appointments. The unknown path”. Hopefully, once you have a plan for treatment, the mental and emotional part will slightly ease up.
Because we have to (we love music here) - what’s the last song you listened to?
My son’s new song. He’s an aspiring artist and went to the studio this weekend and woke up excited to tell me and share it with me, and said it’s his best one yet. Watch out for him!
Photographer @sophieelgort
Creative Director @stacyigel
Chair Creator @thevaleriestarart
Hair & Makeup @thevaleriestar
Location c/o @jimmycrystalny
Code for PC4C
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On the Chair with Mercedes Wilson, Founder and Executive Director of For Our Daughters, CEO of Sadie's Relish & Co-Host of AM Buffalo (WKBW,ABC)
Tell us a little about you.
I'm a wife, mommy, daughter, cousin, friend, advocate, country girl, foodie and so much more. I am the most calm right after prayer and when listening to music. I love meeting new people and learning their stories. I am not a surface person, I love to learn what makes people tick, what makes them happy.
Upon diagnosis, what was your first thought?
How long do I have to live? Who is going to take care of my children?
Sometimes it’s hard to “thrive,” we all have days where we are just trying to survive. What is something that gets you through on the hardest days?
Music, I turn on Whitney Houston. Tears have healing power as well. I also know that you appreciate the good days because bad days exist, so bad days don't last always.
Who is another woman you have admired on this journey that has shared a similar experience with breast cancer/cancer (please type what type of cancer you had/have)?
I had stage 2 estrogen receptor breast cancer. Are you really going to make me name one? I have a whole tribe here in Buffalo/Western NY! You will get me in trouble! LOL. They ALL inspire me, seriously, they are unmatched, one text and they all come running.
We all need a good support system; who makes up yours?
My friends and family, my husband and children!
Through your journey, what are some resources you have found that would be helpful to other women?
Other women, we all need a tribe. The tribe that recognizes when you go quiet and check on you, the ones that bring you meals when you don't feel well or just text I love you when you need it.
What is something society gets wrong about young women battling breast cancer and cancer in general?
That our strength means we don't need anything. That our first "no I don't need anything" means you should stop trying.
You come across another woman who has just received her diagnosis. What is one piece of advice you’d have for them at that moment?
It's ok to not be ok. You have just gained an amazing sisterhood that you will have for life!
Because we have to (we love music here) - what’s the last song you listened to?
Actually this week I have been listening to the queen Mary J Blige and I just listened to Mary J Blige Just Fine!!!
Photographer @sophieelgort
Creative Director @stacyigel
Chair Creator @thevaleriestarart
Hair & Makeup @thevaleriestar
Location c/o @jimmycrystalny PR BMG
#ChangeMakerMoms: Q&A with Lifestyle Producer for TODAY with Hoda & Jenna, Sarah Clagett
Tell us a little about you!
"HI! I’m a mom of two boys, a proud wife, and Lifestyle Producer for TODAY with Hoda & Jenna. I also love Pilates & red wine."
Balance is key. How do you stay organized between family & work?
"BALANCE is tough. Sometimes, I think it doesn’t exist. It seems there is always one item, subject, or person that gets more attention. At present, I’m really trying to focus on my family as well as career. My boys will only be young once, so I want to truly enjoy every minute.. One day I’ll look back and think about all these moments at baseball and soccer games, art class, school drop off and pick up, and I’ll wish I could do it all again. I don’t want to miss a thing. Please don’t tell my boss, but when I’m 80, I doubt that I’ll be yearning for all that time in the office. Having said that, I also believe I have a tremendous flexible job and work my tush off. Plus, I think being a hands-on mom makes me a better TV producer."
Name another mom who inspires you? Why?
"At this stage of my life, there are many inspirational moms in my circle of family & friends - with their own daily struggles doing the best they can and giving it their all each day. I can’t list one – but I can list 50 easily. My own mom inspires me. She always has been, and still is, there for my brothers and me, during our childhood and as adults. She pushes me when I need it. She pushed and inspired me to move to NYC from the Midwest. She encouraged me to set high goals and self-expectations with my career at NBC TODAY. She coached me and had my back when I bought my first home (and third) in NYC. I might never have seen my own potential without my mom. She’s always been my biggest cheerleader and her actions have inspired me to be a better mom to my two boys. Nobody loves you more than your mom."
Some days are tough, what's a quote that keeps you moving?
"I try to remember when the day is tough, it’s just a phase. Everything is just a phase. While the phases can be really tough, they, too, will pass. Kevin Bacon once talked about phases in the documentary, “Fatherhood.” I think about it regularly and I believe it’ll stick with me for life. Soon the phase changes and ends and that phase will be a memory in the past. The next phase will be a challenge for the future."
What’s your pump-up song for starting your day?
"Right now my pump up song is “Praise the Lord,” by Breland. I also just love everything about COLDPLAY music."
Drop some organizations you are passionate about that gives back to women and/or momma's around the world.
"My son Wyatt was a micro-preemie born at 24 weeks. The NICU experience is a trauma for any mom & the “Journey Bead” program was developed to help celebrate milestones and to help parents with PTSD. I give my love and admiration to any organization that helps preemies, especially groups that focus on the familial mental needs of parents during those challenging times."
#ChangeMakerMoms: Q&A with Merchandising Strategist Anosha Lewis
Tell us a little about you!
"I am a born and bred New Yorker. I am the daughter of Indian immigrant parents who tried their best raising me & my brother in this crazy city — 40 years later I find myself doing the same with my kids. Each day is filled with varying emotions –worry/fear/anxiety balanced with awe/wonder/amazement that they are now part of the fabric of NYC and vice versa."
What do you do?
"I work for Madison Square Garden. I lead the merchandising strategy for their Christmas Spectacular Show Starring the Radio City Rockettes. More recently, my husband Mark shot a documentary on the grim NYC pandemic shutdown, called Outside In which also featured my family. It is making its rounds in a few film festivals and will be showcased at the Producer’s Club on May 16th at 7pm."
Balance is key. How do you stay organized between family & work?
"This is a trick question. At work, to-do lists keep me sane. At home with family, to-do lists are generally thrown out the window. Fortunately, my current work environment is filled with women at different stages in their life and career, usually with their own struggles in balancing work and family life. They are incredibly supportive of familial duties and don’t hold family responsibilities against you. Sounds logical? Unfortunately, I have been in working environments where this was not the case. It makes you appreciate the added level of support even more!"
Name another mom who inspires you? Why?
"At this stage of my life, there are many inspirational moms in my circle of family & friends - with their own daily struggles doing the best they can and giving it their all each day. I can’t list one – but I can list 50 easily."
#ChangeMakerMoms make #FutureBoss kids - how does your child inspire you?
"My kids are still very young and full of imagination! By nature, I am a logical thinker more data driven than creative. Being around them forces me to think different. I relish their imagination & creativity. Santa Claus, Leprechauns, Easter Bunnies, Tooth Fairies…we will be keeping these alive in our household for as long as possible!"
What’s your pump-up song for starting your day?
"Depends on the day. Most weekdays, it is just the morning routine playing in my head. On running days, it is The White Stripe’s ‘Seven Army Nation’. On weekends it is Preservation Hall Jazz Band. However, I am currently on a prolonged Hamilton soundtrack kick."
Drop some organizations you are passionate about that gives back to women and/or momma's around the world.
"Concern, Doctor’s Without Borders."